Trapped Under Ice

Well, the big news is that we're having a girl. Linda and I are thrilled about this. Who the hell needs more dudes hanging around? The Clubs have the right idea: the less dudes, the better. Fewer wars and whatnot.

We found out that Baby G will be Ms. G in a marathon 30 minute ultrasound session. That odd view of life got me thinking about what it must be like inside the womb. From the outside, on the machine, it looks like a Rorschach test on a Commodore 64 computer. From the inside, I say it looks like one of those nature shows where they’re filming seals from underneath the arctic ice, except at night. The gray reflections of the monitor output are like the moon from under ice. Look up, little girl!

The tech did like a billion measurements of her spine, cranium and all other parts (which were where they should be.) The most prominent features, which weren't noticeable last time, were the arms and leg bones. They show up a bright white solid on the screen, overshadowing all other wispy features. They’re solid and they’re moving. Just a ‘wow’ moment.

Then we find out that she’s a girl. I ain’t gonna tell ya how they find out, but apparently the process is a closer call than you’d figure. Proper procedure appeared to be a second examination by a bona fide M.D. as the ‘official’ call, and even then to only within 95% accuracy. But there’s the verdict: girl .A touching moment if I do say so myself.

In other happy news, we have a name. However, we’re gonna keep that under out hats until the live world premiere of S.E. Gilbert. Feel free to share your guesses in the ‘comments’ section below. Winner for ‘Closest Guess’ gets their picture taken with the princess and a bottle of Eastern PA’s finest vintage. Funniest gets a grab bag from my basement. Third prize is you're fired. [Offer void in Pittsburgh, PA, the Kennedy House and 56 Main St.]